This space exists for the quietly overwhelmed—the ones who get it done at work, show up for their kids, smile in meetings, and secretly wonder if they’re slowly unravelling. In this article, we explore the emotional chaos of stress, self-sabotage, and high-functioning depression and offer a steady, nervous-system-grounded way out.
Let me tell you a story.
When “I’m Fine” Is Just a Mask
Gladys was sensitive. She was the kind of girl who cried at injustice, shrank in chaos, and felt everything deeply. She often faded into the background in a family that celebrated loud laughter and thick skin. She was not invisible. Just not… chosen.
Especially next to her sister, the golden child who seemed immune to being told to “calm down.”
When her father left her mum, it felt as if he left her; no one explained. No one told her it wasn’t her fault. So she made sense of it in the only way a child can: Feeling abandoned, lost and unable to talk about it as her mum was so traumatised…she was left with the feeling …….Maybe if I were easier, louder, better… maybe he’d have stayed.
(Spoiler: he just wasn’t great at being a parent. Let’s stop romanticising emotional absence. But I digress.)
She married young. Her husband was her anchor, her rock and her everything… Her mirror. Her safe place.
And then, he died of cancer, and she watched him pass away… she could not cry or scream as she had to be strong… but inside, she was crumbling….
No warning. No cushion. Just gone.
That’s when Gladys spiralled.
She became a full-time Google diagnostician with a degree in “Is this mole deadly?”
Her stomach ached constantly. The doctors told her she was fine. Anxiety said otherwise.
Each morning began with a pulse check. A twinge in her side meant either a smoothie or a will, depending on the day.
I wish I could say she bounced back with breathwork and a gratitude journal.
But she didn’t.
Gladys didn’t need a productivity hack. She needed emotional safety.
She grieved. She panicked. She shut down.
And in that shutdown, she whispered something I’ve always heard in my work.
I’m Andrea A Smith, a Stress and Anxiety Coach & Hypnotherapist. But more importantly? I’m someone who’s lived this. Who’s also said, “I’m fine,” with tears burning behind my eyes. Who knows the trap of looking functional while feeling like a crumpled Post-it note inside?
“What if I never feel safe in my own body again?”
High-functioning depression
Too many high-functioning depression women live in survival mode—performing competence while quietly breaking down.
This Isn’t About Perfection.
It’s about holding a mirror to the parts you hide—and saying, “You’re not broken. You’re tired. Let’s rest, then rise.”
You Don’t Need to Fix Yourself to Be Here.
You just have to keep showing up.
Brick by brick. Breath by breath.
Gladys is real. Her story is what I see every day.
Maybe you’ve never lost a partner. But maybe you’ve lost yourself in a life that no longer feels like your own.
If you’ve ever wondered whether this loop of stress, shutdown, and self-doubt is just your “new normal”…
Let me tell you: it’s not.
You can change your thoughts. You can change your mind. You can come back home to yourself, brick by brick.
That’s what we’ll be doing here, together.
This space is for quiet power. For soft rebellion. For the nervous system, the truth is not polished perfection.
Andrea A Smith
Stress Coach London
P.S.
If you’re reading this with one eye twitching from caffeine and the other watching your to-do list judge you, breathe.
You’re not lazy. You’re overloaded. You have high-functioning depression.
And you’re already enough.
