How to let go of resentment: 5 steps you can take right now

Table of Contents

In this article, ‘How to let go of resentment: 5 steps you can take right now’, we will talk about irritation in the workplace, toxic relationships with friends, workmates or challenging family dynamics. Or a problematic relationship with your other half that can cause you immense stress and anxiety.

Let go of the past

How do you forgive someone making up stories about you and painting you out to be the bad guy? It can feel impossible to let go, but it’s essential to understand that our past experiences (and, in some cases, our unconscious feelings) can affect us for years to come. We often grow and change for the better, but our past can prevent us from entirely moving on and thriving, which is important. Learn to identify the feelings you’re holding on to and the patterns of behaviour you’re repeating. It’s important to address and move on from the past and move on to new experiences. To let go, it’s not about being cold or unfeeling. You have to be able to let go of the pain you feel.

Learn to forgive and let go of resentment

To move forward, we need to forgive, which doesn’t mean holding a grudge. It means to forgive and let go of hurt and offence.

Here are five steps to let go of the resentment that can help you start on the path to forgiveness:

  1. Check your motives: Are you resentful because you feel disrespected and tired of waiting around? If so, ask yourself what your reasons are. What do you want to achieve? If your motives are selfish or you feel true love and happiness come first, you must check and re-check your thinking. There’s no need to be sorry for your feelings. And you are still entitled to them as they are. You don’t need to suffer from them for long.
  1. Stop overthinking and focus on the present: Be in the moment and focus on making the most of the situation and enjoying the relationship while it lasts. You may be experiencing resentment, but it is time to let go and take a step towards forgiveness. Remember to take action and look at the bigger picture. Look for the positive. Start taking-action. Life happens, and you will start noticing things or ways you may have changed in the past. Consider that you want to make the best of this relationship because you may only have a few moments together, and you will remember this in years to come. Don’t become part of the problem. The best way to deal with resentment is by not allowing it to develop in the first place.
  1. Let people know you need help: If you’re in a toxic relationship, you will have to ask for help, which will be a complicated conversation. But plenty of people in your life can listen and offer advice that will keep you from feeling stressed and fearful. They can be people you trust and know you can confide in. Make a list of people you know you can speak to if you need them. Break the negative thoughts. You will constantly have these thoughts in typical everyday situations, but they will also pop up when you’re having negative thoughts about yourself. If you are starting to have negative thoughts about yourself, take a moment to think about a moment. That occurred over the past week or so when you had a positive experience.
  1. Accept that some things can’t be changed (let go of resentment): You can’t make your family/friends/siblings be around or interested in you. The truth is, it just isn’t going to happen, and it’s not up to you. Be aware that other people have different ways of dealing with things in their own lives, and you can’t control other people’s emotions and actions. Follow the golden rule and respect other people’s opinions and feelings. People should respect yours as well. What you can change about a situation is how you react to it. Be aware of your reactions. If you start to feel angry or upset, ask yourself: what am I resentful about? Before you react with resentment towards someone else, it is a good idea to ask yourself consciously, is this something I can change?
  1. Remember that there is always room for growth: Realize your mistakes. You can still learn new things and grow no matter how old you get. Keep your ego aside and get to know each other for who they are. Allow the person to be themselves. It is not wrong for you not to know everything. Let them discover it themselves. Focus on the positive parts of your partner. Don’t live in fear of your partner Everyone has their thoughts and opinions. Accept them and welcome them with open arms. Do not control them. Be mature and ask for help. Do not be shy, and get to know people who can support you greatly. Recognize that love is a two-way street. There will be times when you will feel frustrated. But try not to be passive-aggressive and take things personally. Be supportive and encourage the same in them.


If you resent parts of your life or things going as well as you hoped, what choices will you make to change your direction? How to let go of resentment: 5 steps you can take right now. You can take action, and with these changes, you will see how your mindset and life can improve. So how to let go of resentment and get control of your life?

If any of these strategies resonate with you,  Call me or email me and read more about overcoming & managing mental health here.

Picture of Andrea A Smith
Andrea A Smith

I help Individuals and Organisations to manage workplace stress, anxiety & overwhelm. By building long-lasting resilience, having a step-by-step guide for forming habits that stick and creating an anti-burnout culture: individuals and teams can improve their performance and productivity. To feel happier, healthier and in control of your emotions and life.