‘I have one nerve left and you are standing on it!’ Is this how you feel more often than not? Are you feeling angry all the time, or crabby, nervous, anxious, or irritable? Stress management. If yes then there is a good chance you are currently under a lot of stress. ‘Get help with anger’ is the topic discussed here as stress management.
I have been asked many times if stress causes anger or if anger leads to stress! There is much written on these two mental states, both individually, and as linked occurrences. So let me try to put it in the language of the layperson, “High-stress levels can result in angry outbursts, which often will cause you more stress’.
So say you are stressed out, it could be because of too much responsibility, too many people taking you for granted, financial insecurity…any number of reasons. The stress builds, and you start to get irritable. Then someone or something happens that really aggravates you and boom there is an explosion. When really angry, you tend not to be rational and that causes angry outbursts that are difficult to come back from. You say or do something you wish you hadn’t, and now you have a new stressor.
Neither stress nor anger is bad in themselves. Both are psychological traits. Good stress is what gets you out of bed in the mornings, to get you doing what needs to be done. Distress is bad stress. It makes you irritable and anxious and prone to anger. Both stress and anger produce adrenaline, which is good because adrenalin gets us moving. But, and It’s a big but, both must be harnessed for positive outcomes.
While anger is an instinctive response to stress, it can also be because of depression, substance dependency (alcohol, recreational drugs), a side effect of some medications, and psychological illnesses. It creates within you the ‘fight’ response. Uncontrolled anger is dangerous, it causes conflict situations. Allowing, stress and/or anger to gain control of us is what creates problems in our lives.
If you are concerned that you might have anger issues, or you feel like you are getting angry too often you could take a couple of online Anger management tests as the first step. You can start with the Free anger test or do the Mood self-assessment by the NHS. It is important to understand that taking anger management tests online is only the preliminary step to dealing with your anger issues. Once you are identified as having anger issues, the next step is to seek help with anger management. Typically, this will involve understanding the source of your anger, identifying your stressors, noting your triggers, and learning healthy ways to work through your anger.
Things that you can do to get help with anger: stress management
- Recognise your stressors when you get angry all the time so you can take control to calm down as soon as possible
- Try breathing exercises and calming breathing exercises.
- Get support – a therapist about how to be in control of your anger
- Exercise regularly, walking, swimming, meditation and yoga
- Practice EFT (emotional freedom technique) to feel calm when you can feel your anger rising.
You can read up and try and adopt some effective strategies to cope with stress and anger. My book, Fear Less Live More (which is out in early December 2020) also offers many do-it-yourself strategies and tools.
It is always a better option, to work with a trained professional to achieve balance in your life. If you are in or around Surrey, you are welcome to contact me for face-face sessions. I also offer online sessions for those with limited time or staying far away. Let’s get started and work on some of the problems you face especially ‘get help with anger: stress management’.